Being a multiple is hard work, it takes enormous intellect and drains energy which is why it is so tiring sometimes. When you were little people hurt you, no one rescued you so you split- multiplicity is the ultimate and most creative defence.In our opinion DID/MPD it is not an ‘illness’ it is a way of being that helped you survive that doesn't work anyore because you got safe. The fact is, if you are a multiple reading this you are a Survivor…….isn’t that worth CELEBRATING!
........we heal in relationship.
The power to heal is with-in you and the great news is that you can get better- many of us have. No one told us how to split, the power to survive was inside us. Multiples endured their abuse in isolation which means all Multiples and Integrates are unique. Consequently the only expert in your DID and your recovery is you but it often doesn’t feel like that especially when we get misdiagnosed in the mental health system. One of the aims of I et al is to put you in the driving seat of your recovery to allow you to develop and explore relationships in safety- something you were not allowed to do as a child.
A counsellors job is to help you do what you are trying to do spontaneously- get well. I et al is a unique practice as the counsellors working with Multiples are Integrates which means we have recovered from DID and our alters have joined us. Our experience has taught us that Multiples need a different kind of therapy delivered differently than the standard therapeutic interventions. Katia's life time work has been developing Thrive Therapy for over 30 years working with her own alters and other Multiples. Thrive Therapy works and now Yvonne, a former client who is a qualified and experienced counsellor, now an Integrate, joins her.
We understand dissociation and Multiplicity from the 'Inside'.
As integrates we know how scary and lonely being a multiple can be sometimes but also how good it can be. Sometime it’s good just to talk to someone who understands and sometimes it’s good when we don’t have to explain. When we feel really bad we need to hear a familiar voice just so we can touch base, other times when things are good its great to have someone to celebrate the little things that feel like big things to us without feeling stupid.Click here to see the vision of I et al and we what hope to achieve.
I et al- is about being who you are right now, that goes for everyone, all alters of any age. You don’t need to tell your story if you don’t want but you can if you want- we won't run away. We have worked with lots of multiples and hundreds of Innie children, we know about what happens in secret in homes, paedophile rings and satanic abuse rings...we won't be shocked. We also know that children are never responsible for their abuse no matter what you were told at the time.Click here for more about grooming
Multiples come into counselling for lots of reasons. You may want to share a moment of insight and celebrate or talk about how being a multiple is for you, who upsets you, what makes you feel happy....it doesn't matter. You have permission to talk about whatever you like.
When we work with a Multiple in one-to-one counselling we always negotiate a contract with the chief Executive Alter (CEA)and theirsystem (alters)so everyone knows that we are committed to working together. We do this because counselling can feel scary and when we feel out of control it reminds us of when we were powerless in the past. Sometimes just getting to know each other will be our contract or just wanting to talk about our day especially for young alters who just want to be children. Sometimes there may be a particular issue that is bothering you so we may decide to focus on that or perhaps you are reading a book about recovery which really speaks to you so we may contract to talk about that. It’s all about you being in the driving seat of your recovery.
Groups & Workshops
We work with Multiples on groups and workshops too, there are plenty of opportunities for Innie kids to play and for older alters to talk....how would it be if you are a Protector to meet another at the Protector level? Or a Guardian or Manager. We facilitate that too.
I et al is a place to experiment with our emotions and work out how we feel. This includes anger which can feel really threatening because when we were children we often learned our anger was dangerous as we were punished for it. We were taught our anger was ‘bad’ so we changed it into something else- like sadness or pretend happiness. As we heal we start to learn to recognise anger and understand being angry is OK because it’s healthy but we struggle to control it. Anger feels like it will overwhelm us because we never learned to control it when we were little and we have got a lot to be angry about. . If you are feeling angry, especially if you are feeling angry with us, please let us know you need a ‘rant and rave,’ we will find a time and place to express it safely and wewillhear you.
We know how hard it can be finding a counsellor and making a commitment to therapy so we invite you to attend agroup,workshops so we can discuss how we could work together.